I've finally reached my max. There are plenty of people who enjoy dating and dealing with the opposite sex (or the same sex, depending on your sexual orientation), but I'm not one of them. Sure, my body enjoys the physical stimulation a man can bring me, but it is FAR outweighed by the drama and headaches a man can bring me. Seriously, I feel INSANE when I'm dating a man, and I am NOT crazy. I just might not be cut out for dealing with dudes in a romantic fashion, and that's perfectly OK.
On another note, I have taken back control of my music project. For a while, I felt like it was a little bit like a runaway train. I was chasing after it as it careened out of control. The small vision I had grew into something different, which is great, but it was actually turning into something I didn't want and becoming a negative instead of a positive. I doubted myself, I felt incompetent, and I am NOT musically incompetent. I am talented and I am driven and I am something special. I have NO doubt I'm going places and I am capable of doing it without letting someone else completely take the helm. It's my life, my career, and my choice. So I took it back, and feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted.
I'm relaxed in the studio. I feel like myself again. I LOOK FORWARD to what still has to be done to finish the album. I'm more than HALF WAY finished with it! No one is to blame for how slowly the project was coming along or for how it was going in a direction I didn't care for but me, because I was just wowed by someone else's vision, and allowed myself to forget my own.
DON'T EVER FORGET YOUR VISION!
That's the moral of the story. Don't check how someone else feels or what someone else thinks before you check with YOURSELF. And if you find you're not happy, TAKE ACTION. Stand up for what you think and good things will happen.
And that's just what happened. I'm amidst talks with a possible publicist, as I mentioned, I am over half done with the project itself, I've worked out a SWEET DEAL for the remainder of mixing/mastering/CD duplication with the studio, I've got someone working on my album art/cover. Honestly, having to do it on my own has reminded me that I CAN do it on my own, which means I'm COMPETENT and I'm SOMETHING SPECIAL. Man, had I forgotten that over the last few months. Even the best of us lose our way.
So, even though -13 people even READ this silly blog, I'll be posting news about my upcoming album as it happens. And it's all happening! :)
Oh! And I'm the smallest I've ever been as an adult. Thanks to Weight Watchers, I'm 154 lbs. 154!!!!!!!!!!!! Hell yeah!!!
