Back on the horse...

I've reopened my OKCupid account. I'm not sure why. I still cancel dates with the quickness. 

Also, I've recently cut off all my previous hookups. 

The personal trainer was a real dick. I hate to be so blunt, but it's accurate. So I'm done with him. He may not know it. And unlike previous times, I feel no need to announce it. I'm sure he'll get the gist when I stop answering his calls and texts. It's a shame because he supposedly had an industry contact, but hey, if you play games, you can play them with someone else. I'm being vicious about only hanging with people who treat me the way I want to be treated and bring something to the table.

The sax player is also out. He called to "hang out" and I told him I'm not doing that anymore. That I'm looking for something substantial. He said that was "cute", then had to go abruptly but said he'd call back. Of course he never did. I didn't expect him too. I teased him about this and he joked that he would, but he didn't. He also said he'd definitely see me before he left on tour, but he leaves tomorrow and I'm busy tonight and he never attempted to set anything up, so we're done. Stupid me was getting vibes from him at one point that he wanted more. Well, either he wanted more and scared himself out of it when I actually flat out said it, or he never wanted to and I was on crack the whole time. Either way, we're done. Again, I didn't announce it. And although I usually wish him luck on his tours the day he leaves, I wished him luck on Friday or Saturday and he leaves tomorrow. He said I was sweet and that's the last we've spoken. Again, he has professional tools that I'm hoping will be useful to me, but I'm done with that.

Mr. Trini is back. After being flat out disrespectful to me weeks ago, he's allowed back in. He knows the new rules. He knows it's chill. He knows I won't tolerate disrespect. And if he does it again, I'll cut him off again. The end.

There was a Q from CT that I met at a friend's party. We made out a bit. I was hoping it'd go somewhere until he (ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE MEN IN THE TRI-STATE AREA) said he wasn't looking for a relationship. So I said lets be friends. But he couldn't be. You can't be friends with men. They don't want to waste their time on you if they're not messing with you. It used to be you could, before there was sex. But now you can't.

So yeah, I'm not so much enjoying this new state of things, but I'm not bullshitting anymore either. You want to hook up? Find another chick. You want to flake out? Find another chick. You want to use and abuse me? Find another chick. If you'd like to respect me and get to know me, I'm available. And I'm open to relationships. Otherwise, I'm not open to you.

The end.

Summer Season!

So, it's summer. I LOVE summer. While everyone's dreading the heat, I revel in it. I'm a Texan, after all. I like to think my love for summer is why this will be my FOURTH summer in NYC without A/C, but I actually think it's time to put a stop to all that, LOL. This year will be the year for A/C! I said that after the scorcher last summer and I meant to buy it in Winter when it'd be cheap, but I was finishing "An Old Soul" and got caught up. Before I know it, it's JUNE and I'm breaking out the fans yet again, almost dying trying to do Tae Bo in my apartment. Long story short: I need A/C. It's on my urgent to-do list.

The album is out. I'm gigging. I'm doing big things. I'm making connections. I'm meeting people. If you want to know more, you really should just check out KatWebbMusic.com and read the many updates from yours truly. That's actually the reason for this delayed post. I feel like I'm talking about my "status" and my "likes" and how I feel every other profile page, and this one, which is supposed to be more in-depth, fell by the wayside. But really, awesome things are happening. Kat Webb, "An Old Soul", buy it. :) Please and thank you!

ON THE DATING FRONT:
I've gotten rid of my regulars. For real this time! I had been struggling for a while with what to do about them, since I know I no longer wanted to continue with casual sex but their desires in that area kept coming before my own desires to look for something more substantial. Anyway, I've learned this new way of handling problems, which is just to WAIT A WHILE. If the solution doesn't seem readily available, take a moment to breathe. Give it a week. Give it a month. If it's not endangering your life, just put it on the back burner. Then--surprise, surprise!--life takes care of it. I just had to learn what was urgent and what could wait. And then I waited and these stagnant, old people that needed to be flushed out of my life before I could meet someone new just faded away on their own. Schedules didn't line up, I went on vacation, everyone got too busy, and suddenly I was alone on Friday night.

Honestly, the alone part does suck. Who wants to be alone? Thats why the regulars were so appealing--because I had a guaranteed "date" any night I felt like it. They were all just a call or a text away. But it wasn't fulfilling. I felt empty. I was just marking time. And it got to the point where I couldn't even mark time with them while dating and trying to find "the one". I just had to stop everything completely. And I stopped worrying about it and it just happened, without the difficult convo or the tears. Everything just fell into place, or OUT of place, as it were.

And I'm alone. Yep. Alone alone alone. I feel like Jerry in "Jerry Maguire". That's how alone I am. Unlike Jerry, I'm going to work through it. I'm busy, I'm pretty, I'm pretty happy, and hopefully this dating situation will fall into place. Forcing it hasn't worked. Lets see what happens when I just stop giving a shit and keep doing what makes me happy (music). :)