Ten Steps Forward, Two Steps Back...

First, lets start with the BACK:

1.) My last few attempts to meet a guy for a serious romantic connection rather than a casual connection ended bitterly. And I was more than a bit bummed about it. It's why I didn't want to post for a while, actually, because I didn't want to bear the bad news.

2.) These attempts at a more serious relationship were so upsetting, mainly because they were with the type of guys I'm "SUPPOSED" to end up with. They were slightly older than I am, African-American, Ivy-League-educated, made comparable money, were comparably attractive, etc. And they were both very good kissers. Let them tell the story and I'm sure I'm the reason things didn't work out. But I'm almost positive things didn't work out because I refuse to play the passive-aggressive dating games NYC is famous for, and refuse to accept that they're somehow more of a commodity than I am, and therefore I should walk on eggshells for their love and approval. F THAT!

3.) I got so fed up with the dudes I was meeting and dealing with that I gave up internet dating (for all of TWO WEEKS, given that I'm already back on OKCupid), swore I'd never love again and that love was worthless, said I'd never deal with NYC dudes again and look outside NYC EXCLUSIVELY, etc. etc. I was angry and I was hurt and I was exhausted.

4.) AND, I was depressed. Unfortunately, depression runs in my family. I just take a bit more to get going and stay happy than most people. You wouldn't know it, because I'm all about keeping up appearances and I feel like singing and cooking and eating and hanging with friends are all coping mechanisms to ensure my happiness (and much more appealing than alternatives), but when I spend too much time in my head and alone and single and being a work-a-holic, things get to me and I get into a funk I can't shake.

NOW, for the FORWARD:

1.) The aforementioned funk ended recently. It was a bit more persistent than recent funks, but it finally is gone, so that's awesome.

2.) As I mentioned, I'm already back on OKC, and though I don't know how much faith I have in relationships, I am putting myself out there. And no, I didn't change my mind about NYC men. I still have ZERO interest in them, but will go out with them if they're attractive, fully aware it will go NOWHERE because I'm a nice person and they are SELFISH, SELF-CENTERED BUTT MONKEYS. LOL.

3.) I go back and forth between embracing my newfound romantic bitterness. It's a good thing sometimes, because you can't be too sensitive in this world and bitterness towards men helps protect you against them slightly. I understand I'll need to work on it, but in the meantime, I'm fine with my newfound toughness.

4.) Things are going WONDERFULLY in my music career.

• My publicist made a kick-ass bio and press release with pictures, and put a lot of great thought into a publicity strategy.
• I've got a steady stream of two gigs per munch through July.
• With the help of a Facebook ad, I've doubled my fans in a week.
• I'm meeting more an more musicians, and seeing who I'd like to work with more regularly.
• My gigs are going well and I'm getting tons of invaluable performance experience. Honestly, thinking on your feet can't be practiced.

So yes, all in all, I'd say things are going well. Seeing as it's just my personal life (and just the romantic portion, at that) that's experiencing a terrible slump (will it EVER end?!), I'd say things are going AWESOMELY.

Visit my Facebook fanpage (www.facebook.com/KatWebb1984) to check out my music, upcoming shows, and hopefully become a fan. And thanks for reading! :)