Revamp!

Hi All,

New things are happening!

1.) I waiver between three and five pounds of my goal weight! It's so awesome to have finally achieved that! I know it's not the end of the journey by any means, and pretty much plan to be a Weight Watchers Lifetime member to maintain my healthy weight and lifestyle. It's so easy to backslide into bad habits.

2.) I've finished my debut album, "An Old Soul"!!! I paid for the royalties of the hard copies that will arrive in a few weeks, have a fantastic CD design, have a gig this Friday, 4/8 in NYC (my first as a solo artist; details at my Facebook fanpage: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kat-Webb/115704781820865), digital distribution could begin in as little as a week, and I'll be signing with a producer for an eight-week campaign (to start) in a couple weeks! How can I NOT be excited.

3.) I plan to revamp this site a bit. With the weight loss goal conquered, I plan to devote it a lot more to my budding music career. That isn't to say that I won't include some personal musings from time to time, but hopefully they'll be related to my music and my career, much more that just using this blog as a public diary (that no one reads, LOL).

And on that note, some personal musings!:

No real improvement on the guy front.

Well, that's not entirely true. I've been on a few awesome dates and some of my regular "friends" have settled into a nice routine with me. Even "Mr. Trini" is back. No apology from him, but hey, that's who he is. Now that I no longer have feelings for him, I don't need one.

There IS a dude who has some promise. He's really nice, an Ivy-Leaguer like me, and incredibly fashionable. We seem to click. I don't want to rush things, and I don't want to get too excited if nothing comes of it, but I'm excited as I CAN be at such an early stage. I take his appearance as a sign that, if they aren't already, things in my romantic life could be looking up very soon. I REALLY appreciate that, as I was beginning to worry I was either going to get fame or love but not both. To be honest, I was starting to think fame would have to be enough. That's a TERRIBLE thing for an artist to have to come to terms with, LOL.

Anyway, as usual, I'll keep readers posted on that front too. Again, in less detail, but I'll let you know if there are any big things happening. :)

Check out music from Kat Webb

Done.

I've finally reached my max. There are plenty of people who enjoy dating and dealing with the opposite sex (or the same sex, depending on your sexual orientation), but I'm not one of them. Sure, my body enjoys the physical stimulation a man can bring me, but it is FAR outweighed by the drama and headaches a man can bring me. Seriously, I feel INSANE when I'm dating a man, and I am NOT crazy. I just might not be cut out for dealing with dudes in a romantic fashion, and that's perfectly OK.

On another note, I have taken back control of my music project. For a while, I felt like it was a little bit like a runaway train. I was chasing after it as it careened out of control. The small vision I had grew into something different, which is great, but it was actually turning into something I didn't want and becoming a negative instead of a positive. I doubted myself, I felt incompetent, and I am NOT musically incompetent. I am talented and I am driven and I am something special. I have NO doubt I'm going places and I am capable of doing it without letting someone else completely take the helm. It's my life, my career, and my choice. So I took it back, and feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted.

I'm relaxed in the studio. I feel like myself again. I LOOK FORWARD to what still has to be done to finish the album. I'm more than HALF WAY finished with it! No one is to blame for how slowly the project was coming along or for how it was going in a direction I didn't care for but me, because I was just wowed by someone else's vision, and allowed myself to forget my own.

DON'T EVER FORGET YOUR VISION!

That's the moral of the story. Don't check how someone else feels or what someone else thinks before you check with YOURSELF. And if you find you're not happy, TAKE ACTION. Stand up for what you think and good things will happen.

And that's just what happened. I'm amidst talks with a possible publicist, as I mentioned, I am over half done with the project itself, I've worked out a SWEET DEAL for the remainder of mixing/mastering/CD duplication with the studio, I've got someone working on my album art/cover. Honestly, having to do it on my own has reminded me that I CAN do it on my own, which means I'm COMPETENT and I'm SOMETHING SPECIAL. Man, had I forgotten that over the last few months. Even the best of us lose our way.

So, even though -13 people even READ this silly blog, I'll be posting news about my upcoming album as it happens. And it's all happening! :)

Oh! And I'm the smallest I've ever been as an adult. Thanks to Weight Watchers, I'm 154 lbs. 154!!!!!!!!!!!! Hell yeah!!!

Stay Strong

Mr. P.T. is still around, lurking. We don't get down, but we talk occasionally. Less and less as time passes. We hung out a lot that first week "apart" and he tried to get me to slip. I very nearly did. I was standing on the edge of a precipice and it would've felt so good to just dive in.

But then what? That horrible feeling when you realize you have to claw your way out of something you did to yourself. You know you're making the mistake when it happens too, but you think, "It feels so good, K. And it's only once. Are you REALLY disrespecting yourself if it's only once? You won't do it again. NEXT TIME you'll be strong. But this time, give in."

Well, screw you, masochistic voice in my head! I'm not going to dive in again. That horrible deja vu I got? I'm NEVER going to feel it again, at least not because of a mistake I KNOWINGLY made.

And, wouldn't you know it, the sax player texted me too! After weeks of silence, he, out of the blue, hopes I'm "having a good day". I'm having a lovely day. I'm having a lovely life. I'm not dealing with people who don't come correct and it's really freeing up a lot of mental and emotional energy.

The more time that passes, the better I feel about my decision. I'm respecting myself and sticking to I want instead of settling for what I can get. And when I'm doing it for the RIGHT reasons, I don't even feel as lonely as normal. That's a good thing. That's something you have to hold onto when the forces of negativity and disillusionment get you thinking that you're the crazy one, rather than the last one of ideals worth striving for.

So, I have to stay strong. And I will...