Well, unfortunately, it's felt like the bear has been eating me the past couple of days. Maybe I'm in a funk. Let me just preface this by saying that I'm PMS-ing at the moment, and PMS is the originator of making a mountain out of a molehill, so forgive what may seem trivial to you.
1.) I don't have a full roster of men that I'm dating, or that are pursuing me.
I went out on a date with a guy this past Saturday that I didn't like very much. I knew there wasn't a spark before the date even began because I'd only given him my number on accident (he asked me on my way out of the club and I was apparently too flustered not to give it to him), and the few conversations we had (via text mostly) confirmed that I wasn't very interested in him. But, times are tight and I wasn't about to turn down a free meal. Hey, he might grow on me, you know? And, I'm trying to accept all social invitations (especially dates) so I can remember what it's like to go out and LEARN what it's like to date.
Unfortunately, during the date he became ridiculously touchy-feely, complimenting strange things like my eyebrows, and making kissy faces at me in the restaurant. He left $70 for a meal that was $65.14, but then insisted I let him put me in a cab home. He also held my hand in front of many guys on the street and literally FORCED me to kiss him (read: turned my face into his). When I told him this a few days later and attempted to end things, he went off with the following text:
"Listen im not perfect guy your right i didnt show romance spark im really sorry The thing is i really like you i was trying do so many things @ the same time in the restaurant i never show u my romantic side cause one the radio was loud next to us and it was crowded over there i trying 2 find a better seat and made sure u like the food i wanted it 2 be perfect 2 i was trying comprehend your life story and everytime i try to complement how gorgeiouse u look u cut throat me u started talking and i was apreciating your story lol i was saying when im going tell her shes got sexy lipps sexy eyes sexy complextion beautiful hair she makes my heart melt i didnt want 2 be rude it was 2 hours only my point how your going get 2 know that fast im sorry location with radio was loud im so sorry. Can i make up 2 you im sorry idk what i did wrong"
This was one of MANY texts AFTER he said I was a "pretender analizer" for not wanting to continue after the first date, and (COMPLETELY UNSOLICITED) made sure i knew he would never hit a woman and was not jealous so I could "go to China" if I so chose and he wouldn't trip.
Um, so yeah, I'm pretty sure ending things helped me avoid getting beaten and/or chopped up in little pieces while he told people I'd gone to China.
Losing that guy (and not acquiring any new guys while I was out and about with my girlfriends), mean my roster now consisted of "Mr. B", who I'm legitimately dating and "Trini", who is just supposed to be a friend that I hook up with from time to time but really is a friend that I get along very well with.
The problem is, Trini and I have had a fling before and I accidently started catching feelings, so when my roster gets so sparse, I start getting in the danger zone of developing feelings again and that's no good.
2.) Mr. B. postpones a date so late that I end up canceling.
So, the day after Mr. B. and I hooked up the week before, we made plans for last night (Thursday). Thursday at 8pm. And he spent the whole week saying, "I can't wait 'til Thursday", "I'm gonna take you out Thursday", "Counting the days 'til Thursday", etc. Then Thursday morning comes and now it'll be 8-ISH.
Those who know me know I ABHOR tardiness. Especially from dudes. But I'll forgive you if you give me notice. He did that, and he's a cool dude with a car and the inclination to take me out, so I was OK with it.
But then 8:30 rolls around and he hasn't called. And I decide I'll be like Vivan Green and stop sitting by the phone and call to see what the deal is. Mind you, I haven't heard from him all day. When I call, he says he'll be another hour. This ninja!
I cut short my workout so I wouldn't keep him waiting and he'll be another hour?! Would I have known if I hadn't called? Do I really wanna take this from this dude? Why do dudes keep doing this to me?
All these questions flew through my head while I nicely said it was cool and I'd see him then. But 9:30-ish rolls around and I'm not having it. I'm home, I'm relaxed, and I'm SUPER PISSED at this dude for keeping me waiting. His reason was only semi-legit too! So I, feeling like I deserved better, canceled that date. He called immediately after I sent the text, very apologetic and amazingly, he was JUST NOW free to come over and hang, but I stuck to my guns and kept the date canceled. It would be after 10pm when he got to my house (if he left right then, and didn't go home to get changed) and I wasn't in the mood to have this dude turn me into a booty call. If anyone gets to turn anyone into a booty call, it's ME. So yeah, I canceled that ish and watched "The Nanny Diaries".
3.) No plans on a Friday night.
One of my gfs has friends in town. I know these friends, but they need to bond before I'm added to the mix (at least I think so), so I won't bother them attempting to tag along.
Trini took all day to tell me whether or not he was going to come over to play Scrabble and chill and then, at 5pm (I gave him until 6pm), he says he's just going to stay inside. Sure, this is no biggie. But add that to the lack of dudes in my roster, my date's postponement the night before and the PMS, and it felt like a huge deal.
He asked if we could hang Sunday, but I'm kinda done with dudes (friends or not) for a little while. Don't feel like thinking about them, stressing about them, trying to please them, cooking for them, dressing up for them, NONE of that! So I'll be practicing the songs for my upcoming album instead.
And that's the moral of the story. When you're out there in the dating world, and you start to feel insecure and every little brush-off feels like a monumental rejection you'll never recover from (he asked for her number instead of MINE), then you just take a step back and do you.
And never, EVER, change your plans for a dude. ;)
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