Playing the Field

That's what I've been doing lately. I feel quite sophisticated, seeing several men, weighing my options, being squired about town and having drinks and food bought for me. Obviously all that isn't the goal of dating, but it's a quite enjoyable perk from the female perspective.

I used to think if you really wanted to get to know someone, you had to give them your undivided attention. While that might be true for your career, your weight-loss goals, any skills you hope to develop, that kind of focus is too much for the average man to handle.

Scratch that. That kind of focus is too much for the average PERSON to handle.

Someone made a comment on one of the many blogs I read about the fact that, though we complain about relationship games, were we to be handed our ideal mate in the perfect situation at the best time of our life, we'd regard the whole thing as suspicious.

"What do you mean there's no subterfuge? You mean I want him and he wants me and we both just talk? And when I say come over he does and when I say I'm hungry, he magically prepares my favorite food?"

I'd have to agree with this. That's why, for those Latin club geeks like myself, the TRUE meaning of the word "utopia" is not "perfect place" but "no place". It's no place because it can't exist. Humans can't accept or exist in perfection. That's why Adam & Eve went looking for that pesky apple, even though they were in Eden.

So we play games. Some people play more than is necessary, more than should be played if we're going to still call them "games". "Games" are fun. Sure, there's a winner and a loser, but they're ultimately made for our entertainment. But relationship games people play can so easily turn into lies, betrayals and cons and that's where many people get into trouble.

I've been conned. I've fallen for game. In retrospect, some of the game I've fallen for wasn't even that believable but the man was just so cute. And my naive self forgot I KNEW it was a game and fell head over heels with a player.

The solution? Play the field. Go out. Go out A LOT. Go out with men you're not sure you want to go out with. Go out on nights you're tired. Go out even if there's one guy you really like more than the others. Weigh your options. Find what works for you. If none of the guys work, you can keep dating them for fun, or you can find new guys. If one or all of them are playing games, drop the game players. It'll be easier to see who's the real deal when you have a comparison.

Go out. Meet people. Date. And see what happens. :)