Happy Birthday to Me!

So, I may not have mentioned this, but my birthday is December 15th. I just turned 26. The awesome thing about having a birthday near the end of the year is that the new year and all its amazing possibilities and its clean slate feels like one of your birthday presents. And isn't that an awesome present?

I could say things about my love life (or lack thereof), but I won't. It's tiring to even care. I told you I'd give it a few weeks and I will. My horoscope (I find myself getting back into them lately, perhaps because I'm becoming impatient with the future) said I have the best chance to meet the love of my life starting January 22nd and lasting for six months. Apparently, I haven't had a love boost this big since 1999. I didn't really feel it then (I was in 8th and 9th grade then, and my heaviest weight ever, dealing with significant depression, starting high school, etc.), but hey, here's hoping. I'd love to meet my true love. I am so very tired of dealing with settling for substitutes. Poor substitutes at that. There I go again. Let me not get into that. A few weeks. I'm sure everything will sort itself out.

That last line really is the truth. Despite my bouts of depression, the rough patches we all go through, my disappointments and setbacks and EVERYTHING, I have always felt I'd be OK. That I'd find a way. That I'd be successful and my dreams would come true and that everything I went through wasn't in vain. Honestly, I've won in situations where the odds were against me so many times, I don't think it's a fluke. I think I truly have favor. And you know what they say about favor...

**(If you don't, the expression is: "Favor ain't fair, but it's on me.")

Anyway, my producer and I had a talk. It was nice. He explained that he's super busy and it's not his loss of interest or lack of faith in my talents/abilities that lead to him completely ignoring me for long spans of time. That's comforting. If you don't know, artists are extremely sensitive. You'd have to live under a rock not to know, but it bears repeating. People see all the bravado, hear the talent, see the masterpieces, and don't understand exactly how personal, nerve-wracking and gut-wrenching presenting art to the world really is. Erykah Badu said it best: "Keep in mind I'm an artist, and I'm sensitive 'bout my shit."

We talked. We said we had to work on our communication. We said we had to work, PERIOD, and now things are back on track. I'm so glad that's the case. Nothing is worse than to be working on a project so personal and important to you with a person you're not sure agrees. Sure, you don't NEED support. Not TECHNICALLY. But everyone in the world WANTS support, encouragement, acknowledgement and praise.

Anyway, I feel OK. Other than a cold that won't let go of me, I feel fine. Everything is going to be OK. In better-than-OK news, I'm down to 158 lbs. If I'm 5'7", I've finally achieved a healthy BMI. If I'm 5'6", I still have 3 pounds to go. Either way, I think I look sexy as heck and the men in my life seem to agree. Again, not going there. Just sharing that, my body seems to be under control. And that is a huge part of how you feel about the world. :)